


Bedtime

by Daovihi



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Chocolate, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Other, Sickening Fluff, alcohol mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 19:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11996577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daovihi/pseuds/Daovihi
Summary: Vernon Roche recalls an important memory from his past.





	Bedtime

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post a lil something for the 10th anniversary, and I found this fic and thought, "hey, why not post this?" It's been sitting on my phone for a while now.

"Once upon a time, there was a Blue Stripes commander, and a Scoia'Tael commando. The Blue Stripes commander, named Vernon Roche, was a disciplined, hardened man, trained by the late King Foltest himself. He had won countless battles through his sheer determination and genius, and for that, he was rewarded with leadership of an entire unit of soldiers. However, he also committed murder against many innocent nonhumans, whether directly, or indirectly. He did this because he was ordered to by King Foltest, but whether or not he was following orders, it was still unjustified. Thus, he was quick to make an enemy of the Scoia'Tael commando. Where he was loyal to the crown and his country, raised by and for Temeria, the commando, on the other hand, was not trained by king or soldier or even teacher, but learned himself how to lead against Temeria. And lead he did. For he led a rebellion against injustice, defending nonhumans wherever he may be. But he held a cruel streak, killing humans who did no wrong. You see, many humans had hurt him over the course of his life, and he hardened his heart, expressing his sorrow by committing acts of violence against all humans, regardless of whether or not they hurt anyone. His name was Iorveth, and his determination in battle matched that of Vernon Roche."

"As such, they butted heads often. Though they were both morally right and wrong in their own ways, they fought bitterly, clashing steel against steel, battling against eachother, but never managing to deal the finishing blow. Most people would have fostered their hatred, let it grow and grow until it consumed their entire being, but Iorveth and Vernon were not most people. No, over time as they say each other more and more, their hearts softened, and love blossomed between them. However, they thought themselves to be crazy, falling for their sworn enemy. As such, their feelings for each other only became known after a serious misunderstanding…"

\--------

"Sir. I am ready to report." The spy saluted Vernon and stood at ease.

"Report." Vernon consented after finishing up writing out his orders for the day.

"Iorveth has received a mysterious package. I say "mysterious" because there is no clue as to what is inside it. Iorveth is very secretive about it, hiding it even from his most trusted allies within the Scoia'Tael. When asked about it, he denies ever having received it at all."

"Hm. Interesting." Vernon tilted his head and rubbed his chin. "How big is it?"

"I couldn't manage to get a good look, sir, but I estimate it to be roughly a foot by half a foot by an inch or two." The spy even used her arms to demonstate its size.

"In metric?"

The spy did the math in her head. "Uh, around thiry centimeters by fifteen by two and a half, sir."

"Thank you. Is that all you have to report?"

"Iorveth appears to be using up a lot of ink and breaking his quills frequently, sir. I don't know if that's related, or even relevant, but I'm telling you just incase."

"Ah." With a wave of his arm, Vernon dismissed the spy.

So, a suspicious package, eh? One that Iorveth is hiding even from his own Squirrels? It must be critical to the Scoia'Tael's cause. Vernon mulled over what he should order his men to do about this new information. For Temeria!

\------

Iorveth groaned and crumpled up the paper, throwing it to the side. By the gods, it's just a letter! Why is it so hard to just write?!

"It's because you're an idiot, Iorveth…" Iorveth mumbled to himself as he put his face in his hands.

Iorveth picked up the abused paper and uncrinkled it, setting it on the shield he was using for a table. He dipped his quill into his inkwell and continued writing out the letter, careful to avoid spelling errors lest he waste paper space. This letter needs to be perfect, and Iorveth will write for as long as it takes until it is.

\-------

"Everyone settle down, please." Vernon's voice boomed through the tent without him so much as raising his voice. The soldiers immediately gave up their chatter in favor of silencing themselves and listening. "Now, if I could have your attention, Iorveth of the Scoia'Tael," Everyone groaned when Vernon started talking about his secret crush for the millionth time. "Has received a suspicious package. He is hiding it from everyone, including his own Squirrels. We suspect that this is an item of key importance. Depending on the contents, it could be a game-changer for them. This is why it is of the utmost importance to find out what it is, and to take it before they can use it."

A soldier raised his hand. Vernon gestured for him to speak. "What's in the package?"

"We do not know at this current time. That is why I placed priority on gathering intel about it. The dimensions of the box are…" Vernon searched through his papers for the answer.

"It's around the size of a chocolate box, sir." The spy reminded him.

"Thank you. Unfortunately, that is pretty much all the information we have on it. If any of you have a theory or two about it, I'm all ears." Vernon looked at his soldiers.

Several soldiers raised their hands at once. Vernon gestured to one.

"Maybe it's some kind of enchanted knife?"

"Possibly. Next." Vernon pointed to another soldier.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, what if it's a chaperon like the one you use? What if Iorveth has a crush on you?"

"…That makes sense." The soldier didn't catch Vernon's sarcasm. The soldier giggled, happy now that Vernon finally listened to one of his suggestions.

"Sir, I would like to present a theory." The spy raised her hand.

"Go ahead."

"Iorveth is often receiving strange bottles. I was thinking that maybe those drinks are performance-enhancers or potions, and that the package might contain something along those lines, but even worse."

"Ah, good thinking. Maybe if it is a potion, we can switch it out for poison." Vernon smirked. "For TEMERIA!"

\-------

Iorveth was still writing when someone knocked softly on one of the trees behind him, on his sighted side. Iorveth put down his quill and folded his letter so that prying eyes couldn't read it. He turned around and faced his messenger, who carried a swirly bottle in each hand.

"I've obtained another batch. Thought you'd want to have first crack at it." The messenger went up to Iorveth and held the bottle to him.

"Awww ho ho ho, more of that special booze!" Iorveth took the bottle and uncorked it. "You know, it's times like these that I'm especially glad that spy doesn't know we're playing her. She'll never get to taste even a drop of this!" With that, Iorveth took a swig from the bottle.

"Well, I'm glad someone can enjoy this." The messenger looked sadly at his own bottle. "Here, you can have this one. There's enough of it for everyone to get one, and I can't drink. Medical issues."

"Oh, thanks." Iorveth took the other bottle and set it down next to him. "Hope they get better."

"Thanks." The messenger left Iorveth alone.

Iorveth sipped from the opened bottle and unfolded the letter. He refrained from drinking any more to keep his mind sharp as he wrote. Another paragraph was written down, and Iorveth looked at the extra bottle. Maybe he could give that as well. Iorveth knows the recipient would definitely appreciate it, after all.

\-------

"Alright, anyone I missed?" Vernon looked around for any raised hands, and found one in the back. "You?"

"Maybe it's a… nevermind." The soldier shook her head.

"What? Spit it out."

"Well, since our spy said the package was the size of a chocolate box, maybe it is one."

Everyone was silent.

"Chocolates?" Vernon broke the silence with amusement in his eyes. "He doesn't strike me as a romantic, or having a sweet tooth." Vernon bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. "But I digress. It's the obvious answer, and something we must consider. Now, if everyone is done with suggestions, let's move on… For Temeria!"

\-------

Iorveth groaned in frustration for the millionth time that day after he accidentally signed his own name on the paper. He put the quill down to the side and laid back. He had worked for so long that the letters on the paper were starting to blur. Iorveth decided to finish up for the day and folded up his letter, putting it in his pocket. It wasn't perfect, not by a longshot, but Iorveth didn't care. He was tired, and besides, it was just a draft. He could rewrite it in the morning. Iorveth gathered up his stuff and prepared to go to bed.

\------

Iorveth woke up, seemingly for no reason. He sat up and looked around. All was normal for the camp, Iorveth couldn't hear a sound. He chuckled to himself and laid back down. He couldn't hear anything at all, what could possibly have made Iorveth wake up?

Wait a minute. It was quiet. Too quiet.

All of a sudden, Blue Stripes soldiers leaped out of the shadows and attacked. Iorveth grabbed his sword and charged at the nearest soldier. He immediately knocked him out, along with his buddies in a beautiful, dangerous dance. Once everyone in the immediate vicinity was out cold, someone came up behind him and struck him in the back. Iorveth fell to the ground, unconscious.

\-------

"Well." Vernon looked at the now unconsious Iorveth. "That was easy. And to think I mostly improvised this plan…" He muttered out the last part. "You three! Bind him and take him to camp. The rest of us will search for the contents of the package! Move it! FOR TEMERIA!"

\-------

Iorveth groaned as he opened his eyes to the dark, humid, mildewed prison. Vernon was having a light chat with Ves at a sturdy wooden table. Iorveth almost had a heart attack when he realized it was the package he was planning on sending out. He tested his restraints, which were sturdy enough to hold him in a standing position indefinitely. The rattling of the chains alerted Vernon to his conscious state.

"Ah, good, you're awake." Vernon walked towards Iorveth with a confident stride. Iorveth realized that he had been stripped down to just a shirt and pants. "You know, I never thought I would be able to capture you, much less on accident, and yet here you are."

"If you're gonna kill me, just do it." Iorveth challenged him.

"What, you expect me to simply kill you?" Vernon laughed. Under any other circumstances Iorveth might have found it beatiful. "Prepare to be disappointed, then. Ves, keep an eye on him." Vernon turned around and grabbed…

Grabbed…

"Oh, you recognize this, do you?" Vernon waved the box in front of Iorveth's face. Iorveth's horrified expression met with Vernon's smirk. "Tell you what: you tell me what's in this box, and save yourself some embarassment." After a thought, Vernon added: "But either way, I'm opening this. For Temeria!"

Iorveth was frozen in place. His emotions were going a million miles a minute, dread, nervousness, anticipation, and embarassment all flashing through him in an instant. Vernon raised an eyebrow at Iorveth's silence and opened the package. Iorveth sucked in a breath. Vernon's eyes bulged and became the size of dinner plates as he processed what was inside the box.

"Y-you… I… Holy… oh fu…" Vernon placed a hand on his head. "I… Are these supposed to be a gift?"

"Yes." Iorveth's voice cracked, and he couldn't look Vernon in the eye.

Without a word, Vernon closed and resealed the box to the best of his ability. He then put it back on the table, leaving Ves extremely confused and curious. "Do you… want me to have it delivered?"

"No…"

"Oh… I'm… I'm sorry I…" Vernon turned around, ashamed, and was met with Ves and her eyebrows, which had risen a considerable distance on her head. "Not. A. Word."

"Wasn't going to say anything, sir." Ves evened out her face, but she couldn't stop the curious looks at the innocent-looking package on the table.

"Good." Vernon grabbed the package and left the cell. "Double the security for him and don't let him share a cell with anyone else. You may stick around, but do not torture him or have him tortured. Also, make sure you search him. I forgot whether or not I had him searched earlier. Am I clear in my orders?"

"Yes, sir." Ves saluted. When Vernon was gone, Ves began her frisk of Iorveth. She had only checked his pockets when she found something already.

Ves pulled out the heavily-stained paper and unfolded it before Iorveth's eye. As she read it, her eyebrows began migrating up her head again. She glaced at Iorveth, and observed that he looked as though he was going to cry. Ves finished up reading the letter and folded it back up, placing it on the table before continuing her frisk. However, she did her hardest to comfort Iorveth, giving him reassuring words and comforting pats.

\-----

No matter what he did, Vernon couldn't get his mind off the box sitting next to him. It twisted and turned in his mind, eating away at him as he wondered one thing: Who is it meant for?

The optimistic part of him popped in with a suggestion that Iorveth meant for it to go to him. Vernon squashed that idea down. He couldn't let himself fall for Iorveth. They are enemies. He is for Temeria, Iorveth is against her. They cannot be together. Besides, there is no way Iorveth feels the same way. 

Ves approached him, letter in hand. "Commander."

"At ease. What is it?"

Ves had second thoughts about what she was about to do before deciding to throw it all to the wind and do it. "…You need to read this." Ves handed Vernon the letter.

Vernon took the letter and unfolded it. "Has anyone else read this?"

"Just me. And it's imperative that no one else reads it."

Vernon raised an eyebrow, but read the letter anyway. As soon as he realized just what it was about, his other eyebrow joined in, and his eyes widened for the second time that day. He double-checked the addresse of the letter. Clearly written at the top was his own name.

"Iorveth… He…" Vernon cleared his throat. "You are dismissed."

Ves saluted, and walked out the room. As soon as she was gone, Vernon opened up the packaging and began eating.

\-----

Vernon opened the door to the interrogation room, where Iorveth was bound to the table and waiting for him. Vernon shooed away the guards and closed the door. He sat down across the table from Iorveth and noticed that he looked sad, maybe even heartbroken.

"Iorveth."

"Roche." Iorveth put up a strong front, but he couldn't spit as much venom into Vernon's name as he needed to.

"This letter…" Vernon held up the letter he had received earlier. He didn't miss how Iorveth paled. "Did you-?"

"Nope!" Iorveth answered far too quickly.

Without looking away from Iorveth, he countered his lie. "It has your signature at the bottom."

Iorveth sighed. "Okay, okay. So I did write it. But only as a joke!"

"…There are several words crossed out, replaced either by their correct spellings, or stronger-toned words. This is clearly a rough draft. I've never heard of someone putting this much effort into a joke love letter."

Iorveth cringed. In that moment, he wanted the earth to swallow him whole. It would be far better than going through this.

"Do you… have feelings for me?" Vernon broke the silence.

Iorveth wanted to just curl up into a ball and cry. Trying to confess to Vernon was a mistake, he should never have gone through with it, why did he let himself be talked into this-

"Iorveth? It's alright if you have feelings for me." Vernon awkwardly patted Iorveth's wrist. "I… I… wouldn't be opposed to us…" Vernon mumbled out the last part, sudden shyness taking over.

"You… wouldn't?" Iorveth looked up at Vernon.

"Yes." Vernon looked him in the eye. He wanted Iorveth to know he was dead serious. Maybe he could make this work - for Temeria!

\-----

"Sir! Iorveth - he's escaped!"

"What? Take me to his cell!" Vernon stood up and followed the soldier to Iorveth's prison cell, where two guards were sniffing around trying to figure out just how he escaped.

"How did he escape?"

"We don't know, sir." One of the guards-turned-detectives responded. "We think he might have had a key."

Vernon fought to keep the smirk off his face. "Anything else?"

"We found this." The other guard held up a bottle with a piece of paper attached. "It was in the corner. Label thingy says it's for you. Wouldn't recommend drinking.

Vernon took the bottle. "You keep investigating." He took off, rounding a corner into an empty room so he could read in peace.

Once alone, Vernon took the scroll of paper off the bottle and set the bottle down. He unrolled the paper and began reading.

_"Roche,_

_Hopefully, this letter is not read by anyone except for you. ~~It is for your eyes only.~~ I would hate for someone else to read this, and then have a traic accident happen to them later._

_Did you enjoy the chocolates I (meant to) send? I paid good money for those, and I would hate for them to go to waste. They are specialty chocolates, some of the highest quality ones I can find on the market. I didn't know if my intended recipient had a sweet tooth or not, so I'm leaving some alcohol here for them. I trust that it will reach its destination._

_Anyway, since I have now escaped, you will probably be looking for me. Maybe you'll even want to deal with me personally. Today's your lucky day, as I will be alone in the gardens to the north on sunday afternoon. Bring food and you may have a chance of getting out of this one with your life._

_Iorveth"_

Vernon smiled and put the new letter away. He couldn't help his giggles as he thought of his date. Oh, he would make sure to bring lots and lots of food. He wanted to "survive" their "fight," after all. For Temeria!

\-----

"…And that's how your rhiant and I found out we love each other. We lived happily ever after, settling down and living a peaceful life together in the woods, where we raised the most amazing child in the whole wide world. The end."

"Nooooo… don't want it to end…" Tabitha rubbed her eye with her fist.

"Technically, it hasn't. We're all here, living out the rest of the story and carving out new life experiences together." Vernon tucked Tabitha in for the night. "But right now, you need to go to bed, so you can continue your story. Little princesses need their sleep, after all."

"But I'm not," Tabitha yawned. "I'm not tired."

Vernon chuckled. "I know, I know. But it's past your bedtime." Vernon responded to Tabitha's pout by planting a kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight, my little one."

"G'night, dadaì." After a moment, Tabitha propped herself up. "G'night, rhiant!"

Iorveth laughed and stepped out of the doorway into the room. "Goodnight, Tabby." He kissed her forehead and made sure she was snuggled up in her blankets, safe and warm. "Sweet dreams."

"Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite." Vernon added.

"Don't worry! I won't let them hurt me! I'm gonna stab them and kick them like you taught me! FOR TEMERIA!" Tabitha performed the accompanying moves with passion and then screeched at the end, causing Iorveth to wince.

"That's very good, but you need to settle down. You can't fight them when you're sleep-deprived." Iorveth laid a hand on Tabitha's head and gently shushed her.

"Why can't I fight them now?"

"Because…" Iorveth searched for an excuse. "You shouldn't just rush into battle. You need to gather information about the environment and about your enemies before you make a move. Once you have gathered this information, you need to plan out how you will attack them carefully, and then wait for an opportunity to strike. This could mean staging an ambush, waiting for them to be dispersed before picking them off one-by-one, or weakening them beforehand. If you keep these tactics in mind, you can win any battle."

"I couldn't have said it any better myself!" Vernon complimented Iorveth. "But anyway, you need for sleep for tomorrow. For tomorrow, you will take the battle to those nasty bedbugs!"

"YAYAYAYYYY! LET'S KILL ALL THE BEDBUGS!" Tabitha got up and started jumping on the bed. Vernon caught her in mid-air and tutted.

"Now now, you're getting all riled up. That won't help you sleep. Now, let's try again." Vernon laid Tabitha down on the bed and tucked her in. "Goodnight, Tabitha."

"Can I… May I… have some chacha tea?" Tabitha directed her question at her rhiant, the "god of tea."

"Of course, my little muffin. But pinky promise me you won't get out of bed until tomorrow, okay?" Iorveth leaned over to Tabitha and held out his pinky finger.

"I promise." Tabitha wrapped her own pinky around Iorveth's and swore to him with an intense expression that was ruined by the baby fat on her cheeks.

"Stay here. I will prepare a brew for you." Iorveth kissed the top of Tabitha's forehead and released his finger. He began exiting the room, almost hitting his foot on his and Vernon's shared bed.

"I meant what I said!"

"I know, I know." Iorveth chuckled. "Love, do you want some tea, too?"

"Sure." Vernon got up and followed Iorveth into the kitchen. He got cups down from the shelf while Iorveth filled the kettle and dug out some chamomile tea.

Vernon lit the fire for Iorveth as Iorveth himself placed the kettle over the stove and filled their cups with as much powdered tea leaves as each individual person in their house preferred. Vernon stole a kiss from Iorveth, who laughed and turned away.

"You know, that's not how we got together." Iorveth spoke up.

Vernon stared at him before he realized whst he was talking about. "As far as I can remember that's how it happened. My story is one-hundred percent accurate." Vernon smirked at Iorveth, who rolled his eyes.

"You bloede dhoine, always forgetting things." Iorveth lightly punched Vernon on the arm. "You never captured me, you never managed to stage an attack on my squad that successfully, I never cried, and you certainly never got any drink from me."

"Oh? What about me stealing the chocolates, then?"

"You did steal them, right under my nose. I don't think you looked inside, because later on you confronted me, in the middle of a lonely patch of trees, and you were like, "I foiled your plans, didn't I?" And then you made such a stupid face when you saw the chocolates," Iorveth laughed at the memory. "You should have seen the look on your face. And after that I was like, "Yes, you absolute moron. Those were meant to be a surprise." I don't remember what we said after that, but we ended up making out, with me pushing you into a tree, and you trying to push me into the ground."

"Well, my version's better." Vernon smiled as he took the whistling kettle off the stove and handed it to Iorveth.

"Because it makes you look better?"

"Because it's true."

"Well, Ves is coming over next week. We can ask her to confirm." Iorveth filled the cups with hot water.

"…How about we just settle it as us having different interpretations of the same event?"

Iorveth laughed at that. "If you say so…"

The two sat in comfortable silence as they sipped their freshly-made tea, not caring about how hot it was. "Did I tell you how much I love you?" Vernon piped up.

"I'm sure you did at some point." Iorveth took hold of Vernon's hand and squeezed it. "You know… it was brave of you to admit that… that you've killed innocents, and that you were wrong to do so."

"Tabitha needed to know. She has to find out someday, might as well have it be on my own terms." Vernon kissed Iorveth's hand, then he sipped his tea. "Your kisses make the tea taste better."

"Oh, stop it, I didn't actually kiss you…" Iorveth smiled and lightly teased. "Anyway, I see my advice went through to you."

"Yeah, I've been listening to you, even when we fight. I want to be a good husband."

"You already are. Now, let's get this tea to our little Tabby, before it gets cold."

**Author's Note:**

> Rhiant means parent, dadaì means dad


End file.
